Why do things feel so different than they did on January 19 and before? Sometimes everything feels different...all the relationships in my family, individual relationships, chats, everything. My mom and I are best friends now, we tell each other everything. I am so thankful for that. All of this has opened my eyes to myself and lots of things going on inside me. I am now questioning so many things I do and my actions. Do I want to waste my time being passive and not really stating how I feel? Do I really want to put up with the criticisms and annoyances that I always have? My mom has taught me life is too short for this. I am not content with just dealing anymore. She and I both have become stronger people and are standing up to those around us. I am my own person and I am going to live my life how I want to live my life. We only get one chance to do so. I am thankful to my mom, my inspiration, for teaching me this.
things change.
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5 comments:
I just found this site and just start to read this:) Same story (based on short description of this blog) JUST happen to me. I'm 28 and on another part of the world. I noticed that you stopped writing:( It is ok, because it probably means that you ... get over it. Good luck!
I am so envious of you. My mom had a brain aneurysm burst three months before I graduated from highschool. Luckily she lived, but she is so different now. She has the mental emotional capacity of a ten year old, we can't even discuss what's happened, because she doesn't understand it. The three months that sh was in the hospital were the scariest months of my life. It's been alsmost three years sinc then, and I still miss her everyday. I've grown to accept how she is now, but sometimes I still feel so intensely the awfulness that is having your mother taken away from you either temporarily, or im my case permanently.
I am so sorry to hear about your mom. That has to be so awfully tough on you. I cannot imagine. i still feel so lucky everyday to have my mom here with me, as for the most part, the same person she was. I am due with my first child in about 2 months and am so thankful for each day she's here and can't wait for her granddaughter to meet her.
I completely understand how your mom's time in the hospital was the toughest of your life so far. Same with me -- the time was just absolutely awful. Nothing will compare to that pain and scariness. My thoughts are with you.
You and your family are truly blessed. I just came across your blog looking for information on my mother's nausea problem. She had a stroke (they called a cerebral hemorrhage/ aneurysm). MARCH 26,1991: MY LIFE CHANGED. I was only 10 years old. The way you explained the steps of what you went through is exactly how I felt. I see every moment so visually to this day. I am 28 myself and I have NEVER known anyone else to share the "experience" other than my family. You totally hit home with me when you said something about you never really know until you live it, and you don't. My father has stuck by her side the entire time and they have now been married 31 years now. I couldn't ask for a better father! And tears are falling out of my eyes as I write this because reading your blog has help me realize and think about all that I have been going through and I honestly don't know if I have ever TRULY accepted it. I seem to think that I have just delt with it all, just by living day by day for the past 18 years, which seems to be by routine. It's the same thing everyday. Her aneurysm left her blind and paralyzed on her left side. She can walk however with a can and brace on her left leg. There isn't any movement with the left arm though. She has what they call tunnel vision every now and then. Like looking through a toilet paper roll is what I think of. But she just catches glimpes on any given occasion. She was in a coma for 37 days(vegetable state).And ironically she was only 37 when this happened. Then one day she finally opened her eyes. She had to go through all the speech and physical therapy for three months. When she first came home she went through different stages mentally. From sadness to anger. She also suffers and suffered short-term memory loss. For example, you could ask her what she had for breakfast and she couldn't tell you five minutes later. Now, her memory has improved. But sometimes better than others. For instance, yesterday she asked for something like three times within five minutes. I am sorry for going on with my situation but I feel like it is helping me to let out a little. Now we are dealing with constant nausea and has been going on for years. We have tried numerous things, but none of which have truly worked. I wish you guys many, many more years together. May God bless you and your family!!
Wow, thanks for your comment. Reading your post brought a lump to my throat. I don't know that one can ever truly accept something like that happening, particularly when your mom still struggles today. Like you said, you just deal and go day by day. Though my mom seems to be doing so well, I still worry and go day by day,hoping nothing ever comes back to haunt and that the aneurysm doesn't re-open. It is such an awful experience for someone and their family to go through. And noone can really understand unless they have been through it. My thoughts and prayers are with your family. I hope you can find some relief for your mom with the nausea. You sound like a great child to be working so hard to help her be comfortable and get better. She's lucky to have you and your dad!
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